How to Plan a Memorial Service
in 7 days.

Most families have between three days and a week to put together a service. Not because that's all the time anyone should have — but because that's how the practical pieces (the venue, the funeral home, the family flying in) tend to line up.

This guide is a day-by-day plan for that week. It's written for someone who is exhausted, doing this for the first time, and probably reading on a phone between calls. I've kept the steps small, the order practical, and the language plain. Take what helps, ignore what doesn't.

Day 1 — Make the essential phone calls

On the first day, the only goal is to create the container in which everything else will happen. You don't plan the service yet. You don't write the eulogy. You make a few phone calls so the practical machinery starts turning.

There are usually four calls. Immediate family first — the people who need to know before they hear it from anyone else. Then a funeral home (or a hospital social worker who can recommend one, if the death happened at home). The funeral home will guide you through the death certificate, transport of the body, and the decision between burial and cremation. They will not pressure you to plan the service today.

The third call is to the person who employed your loved one, if they were working. You don't need to talk long — just say what happened and that someone from the family will follow up about belongings and benefits. The fourth, optional but often helpful, is to a close friend who can help you make calls so you don't have to make all of them yourself.

That's the whole day. Eat something. Drink water. If you can sleep, sleep. The rest can wait until tomorrow.

Day 2 — Choose the date, time, and location

Day 2 is about pinning down when and where. Once those two things are fixed, every other decision becomes easier — invitations can go out, family can book flights, you can stop holding the question in your head.

Talk to the funeral home about their available dates. Most can hold a service within four to seven days. If a particular religious tradition sets the timing (Jewish funerals within 24–72 hours, Catholic and Protestant services usually within a week, Muslim burials as soon as possible), say that on this call — they'll work around it.

Location usually has three options:

• The funeral home itself — easiest, most logistics handled for you, neutral religious framing.
• A church, synagogue, mosque, or other place of worship — if your loved one belonged to a community, the clergy there will help.
• An outdoor space, hall, or home — for celebrations of life and informal memorials. This requires more from you, but it's often the most personal option.

Don't agonize over this choice. Your loved one's friends and family will come wherever you tell them to. The location is for the people present; the meaning happens between them.

Also decide on the type of service. A traditional funeral usually includes the body and follows a religious or formal order. A memorial service happens after cremation or burial and centers on remembrance. A celebration of life is the most informal — music, stories, photos, food, sometimes outdoors. You can blend any of these.

Day 3 — Send invitations and write the obituary

With the date and location locked, today is about letting people know. That happens in two layers: a short, factual obituary that goes wider, and invitations that go to the people you specifically want present.

The obituary

An obituary is a short notice — usually 150–400 words — that newspapers, funeral homes, and social media use to announce the death. The funeral home will often help you write one, or place it in local papers on your behalf. A basic obituary includes:

• Full name (and any nicknames), with maiden name if applicable
• Date of birth and date of death; sometimes the city of each
• A short biography — where they grew up, what they did, who they loved
• The names of surviving spouse, children, parents, and siblings
• The date, time, and location of the service
• Any preferred charity for memorial donations ("In lieu of flowers…")

You don't need to write a literary masterpiece. Most published obituaries are simple and warm. If you're stuck, write down five things your loved one would have wanted strangers to know, then turn each into a sentence.

The invitations

There are no rules about how funeral invitations are sent, and there's no etiquette anyone will judge you on. People send theirs through every possible channel:

• Text and phone calls for close family and friends
• A Facebook event or post for the wider circle
• A digital invitation (e-vite) sent by email — cheap, fast, easy to update if details change
• A printed invitation mailed to extended family and older relatives who don't use email

For most families, a mix works best: phone calls and texts to the inner circle, an e-vite to the wider one, and printed cards for grandparents and family elders who'd rather receive something in the post. If you'd like a clean, ready-to-personalize template, our printed funeral invitation and digital e-vite are designed to match, so you can use both in parallel without it looking like two different services.

Day 4 — Plan the order of service

Day 4 is where the service itself takes shape. The order of service is the sequence of what happens during the ceremony — who speaks, what's sung, when there's silence. It usually fits on a single printed page, which is why the next step (the funeral program) flows out of this one.

Most services follow a recognizable structure, regardless of tradition:

1. Welcome and opening words — usually by the officiant, clergy, or a family member
2. Opening prayer or moment of silence
3. Reading or hymn — a scripture passage, a poem, or a song
4. Eulogy — the main remembrance, often by a child, sibling, or close friend (10–15 minutes is a good length; longer than that is hard for everyone)
5. Tributes — shorter reflections from one or two more people, or a video montage
6. Second reading or song
7. Closing prayer or words of committal
8. Recessional — the family leaves first, then guests; sometimes followed by a graveside service or a reception

You don't need every section. You can add others (a candle lighting, a symbolic gesture, a shared reading). The point of writing it down is twofold: it gives the officiant a script to follow, and it becomes the spine of the funeral program you hand to guests.

The funeral program

The funeral program (sometimes called an "order of service" booklet) is the small printed handout each guest receives. It typically has four sides:

1. Front cover — name, dates, a photo, often a scripture line or short epitaph
2. Inside left — the order of service, as a numbered list
3. Inside right — a short obituary or life story
4. Back cover — pallbearers, thank-yous, a closing verse, sometimes a poem the family loved

Programs feel small but matter more than people expect. Guests fold them into a pocket or a Bible and find them years later. If you'd like to see what one looks like, our elegant funeral program is the template most families start from.

Day 5 — The small visible things

Day 5 is for the pieces guests see but rarely think about — and that you will absolutely notice are missing if you don't plan them.

Memorial signs and entry display

A simple sign at the entrance — your loved one's name, dates, a single beautiful photo — tells guests they're in the right place and sets the tone for the service. It can sit on an easel by the door or be propped next to the guestbook. Our memorial sign template is designed for this exact purpose.

Prayer cards or keepsakes

Many families hand out small cards that guests can take home — usually wallet-sized, with a photo on one side and a prayer, verse, or short tribute on the other. These end up tucked into wallets and journals and stay with people for years. See the prayer card template for the standard size and layout.

Music

Either an organist or pianist provided by the venue, or a curated playlist played through the venue's speaker system. If you go the playlist route, send the file to the funeral director the day before and ask them to test it. Don't trust your phone's Bluetooth on the day.

Flowers and tributes

Flowers come in three places: a casket spray (if a casket is present), arrangements at the front of the venue, and a guestbook table arrangement. Most florists work directly with funeral homes — call yours and let the florist quote you. Common ranges in the US are $200–$400 for a casket spray and $75–$150 per smaller arrangement.

Photo board or slideshow

Optional but powerful: a poster-sized board of family photos near the entrance, or a short slideshow (3–6 minutes) projected during the reception. Ask three family members to dig through their phones for photos and pool them into one shared album.

Day 6 — Print, confirm, rehearse

Day 6 is execution day. Everything that's been decided gets made, confirmed, or practiced.

Printing

If you've ordered programs, prayer cards, signs, or printed invitations, today is when they need to be finalized and printed. A few options:

• Local print shop — Staples, FedEx Office, or independent printers can usually do same-day or next-day on small jobs. Bring a print-ready PDF.
• Funeral home in-house — many funeral homes will print programs if you send them the file. Cheapest option, but expect basic paper and binding.
• Online overnight — VistaPrint, PrintingForLess, and similar services offer 24-hour turnaround on programs and cards. More expensive, much nicer paper. Order by noon for next-day delivery.

Whatever option you choose, order 25% more than your expected guest count. Programs disappear into pockets and people take spares for family members who couldn't attend.

Confirm everything one last time

Call the funeral director and confirm: time, location, music setup, flower delivery window, who will hand out programs. Confirm with each speaker that they're prepared. Confirm with the venue what time you can arrive to set up (usually 60–90 minutes before guests).

Rehearse

If you or someone you love is delivering a eulogy, read it out loud at least once today. Aloud, not in your head. You will find the sentences that need cutting, the names you mispronounce when you're tired, and the parts where you'll need to pause to breathe. This isn't about performing — it's about not being surprised by your own grief on the day.

If music is being played from a phone or laptop, test it on the actual speakers at the venue if possible. If not, at minimum, test the cable you'll be using.

Day 7 — The service

There's almost nothing to plan on the day of the service. Everything that was going to be planned is already planned. Today is about getting through it with the people who matter, and letting the structure you built carry you.

A few practical notes most guides don't mention:

• Eat something. Even if you don't want to. Grief is metabolically expensive and you'll need the fuel to be present.
• Wear something comfortable underneath. Whatever's on top can be formal. Underneath, plan for comfort — you'll be standing, sitting, hugging, and crying for several hours.
• Bring a printed program for yourself. It's a script you can hold onto if you get lost in the moment.
• Designate a "logistics person." One trusted family member or friend whose job is to handle anyone who needs directions, latecomers, the florist who's running late. You should not be doing this.
• Don't drive yourself. If at all possible. Grief impairs reaction time. Ride with someone.
• Tissues. More than you think. Pocket-size and a backup box.

After the service, there's almost always a reception or gathering. Some people stay for hours, some leave after thirty minutes. Both are fine. Listen to your body and the people around you.

When the day ends and you're finally alone or with the smallest circle of people, the grief comes back to the front. That's expected. The service didn't fix it; it gave it a shape. The shape mattered.

A funeral program isn't just printed paper. It's something the family keeps — something guests fold and tuck into a Bible or a journal, and find again years later.

Common questions

This guide reflects what works for most families in the US, UK, and Canada. Religious and cultural traditions vary, and your funeral director, clergy, or community elder will know the specifics for your family's tradition. When in doubt, ask them — they've done this many times.